What’s self love got to do with it?! Errr…everything!

href=”https://michellemovesmountains.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/make-love-and-war.jpg”>Following on from my blog about self worth, I am now going to take things a stage further and chose this day of St Valentine’s and day of ‘love’ to write a blog about dating, my experiences (!!!) and what I have learnt from it all (!!) And my ex boyfriends have no reason to fret as I dont plan on dishing the dirt on them per se. I feel no bitterness or resentment to any ex boyfriend and wish them all well and hope that they are all happy in their lives today. This blog is more about my journey of self discovery and what I have learnt from my encounters with the opposite sex and what my message is to all young girls and boys about to embark into the world of dating, relationships and love 🙂

I have had four serious relationships in my life The first being at 18 and the last one ending spectacularly at 25. And prior to this age, I was very keen to be in a relationship and therefore was looking for love in all the wrong places. Losing my father at a young age meant that I was often looking for a ‘father figure’ or at best a male to fill the ‘hole’ left by the death of my dad. Every relationship I went into I believed would fill that hole. And every relationship I came out of left an even bigger hole. And this is not the fault of any of my ex boyfriends. I dont blame anyone for how I felt in the past. It just serves as a reminder that I wasnt ready for any of these relationships or able to love any of them unconditionally as one ought to within a relationship.

And the reason for this was because I didnt love myself. And had very low self worth so tolerated behaviours that were not worthy of me or loving in any sense of the word. It took me to the deteoriation of my last relationship for me to take stock of my life, put things into perspective and take time out of the dating scene, which I should have done years before. I realised that I was attracting the men and relationships I had encountered due to me not being fully together or truly, madly, deeply in love with myself.

Therefore, over the past two years I have spent time getting to know me and falling in love with myself again (as corny as that sounds!) And that is the message and moral that I hope to impart with the followers of my blog. That until you truly love yourself, realise your self worth and what you deserve, you are not ready to be in a romantic relationship of any kind. Dont depend on a man’s love of you to make you love yourself. Cos it doesnt work like that. You have to love you FIRST before someone else can truly love and appreciate you. And without that self love and self worth, any romantic relationship that you find yourself in will not be healthy.

To my younger readers, I want you to know this. Dont rush into a relationship because everyone else is. Only do it once you feel it is right and you feel ready. Because by rushing anything will only cause longer term problems. The motto ‘Pay now, play later’ rings true. Spend time getting to know yourself, what your likes and dislikes are and what you will tolerate before entering a relationship. It will pay off in the long run. Preparation is key. The longer you spend figuring yourself out, the healthier a relationship you will have further on down the line. And truly love yourself. And treat yourself constantly. Because you deserve it and in doing so, you will teach others how to treat you.

I have reached an age, a season and a time when I can honestly say that I am ready for a romantic relationship because I know Michelle Pritchard inside out, I have overcome the various issues I have had within life and love myself MAHOOOOOOOOSIVELY. And to add to that I know my worth therefore will not tolerate a man cheating, lying, disrespecting or abusing me in any way. Because when you are an empowered woman of worth you repel any form of negativity, BS or ridiculousness. I am far too valuable for a waste man 😉

So whoever the next man is to be in a relationship with me is going to be very lucky indeed as he will enjoy the harvest, a culmination of everything I have learnt over the past 10 years and more. And lets be honest, who wouldnt adore me?! I am totally loveable and cute 😉

Happy Valentines Day to all, single or coupled up. If you are single, spend the day affirming how much you love YOU and be happy for those who have found love with another, not bitter because your time will come when you are ready for it. And remember every day is a day to be in love with you, your partner and everyone around you. Cos love is AWESOME. Love is GREAT. And love does indeed make the world go round. The Beatles were right when they said ‘All you need is love’ Lots of love 🙂
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Because you’re worth it…

I wasn’t planning on writing a blog today however self-worth has been playing on my mind all day and therefore I decided that the thoughts in my mind were definitely something I had to get out and share in the hope that it will touch and benefit at least one person reading it 🙂

So, here goes. It struck me, whilst sitting on the bus coming to work this morning that self-worth or more importantly the lack thereof is one of the reasons some of us go off track and tolerate with so much BS! I know that, for me, this is the case for sure. I used to have a saying, which in hindsight makes me quite sad, which was ‘Your body is your temple. I treat mine like it’s from Primark’. I used to consume junk, listen to negative self talk, gossip, bitch, drink copious amounts of alcohol or anything else to make me escape, wear cheap clothes and not really care much for my body or myself. Sad huh?! And all this stems from having low self-worth. Not believing that I deserved better or that my body was my temple. Thankfully though, this has all changed and I now treat my body with the utmost care and love and this is all because I realised my worth, my power and how much control and responsibility I had for my destiny.

This is why I believe and know that it is imperative to know your worth. Your value. Your purpose in life. Because without it you will find yourself in relationships that are not worthy of you, tolerating emotional, physical, mental and sexual abuse; in a job that doesn’t utilise your talents, skills and gifts or use your time effectively. You will find yourself procrastinating and not using your own time pro actively as you are not aware of how precious your time is and how every minute counts. You will find yourself being paid a wage, which doesn’t value your worth. You will find yourself addicted to external things as they are a means to escaping from your potential. You will be disrespected, walked over, disregarded, ignored. Tolerating rudeness, lies and inappropriate remarks. Putting up with people invading your space and touching you inappropriately. Or being crude, crass or demoralising.

Sound harsh?! It is. However, I’ve been there, done that and am sharing my story to help those who are in similar positions to make them realise that they don’t have to put up with the above. Because they are worth, oh, so much more!

Now, in order to combat this and get your self-respect and self-worth back you have to realise your value. Because you are so precious. So valuable. And so worth it. And I know this because we all are. Each and every single one of us. We were created with equal amounts of worth, value and esteem. However some of us lose sight of this whereas others do not and go on to flourish and succeed. I have fabulous friends who are so aware of how worthy they are that they do not do anything for the sake of it. As they realise how precious their time is. Another example is, when figuring out how much I should price myself for my motivational speaking, I was told that speakers usually charge £500 for half a day. Half a day! WOW! A friend of mine charges £400 for two hours work and I know of people who wont commit to anything unless they are being paid 1k for their time!

Now I am not saying that you have to charge large amounts of money in order to know your worth. What I am saying is become aware of how you perceive yourself and your worth and If it isn’t high, then learn to raise your expectations. Because my followers, you deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to be treated with kindness. You deserve to be valued, loved and cared for. And only until you realise how worthy you are and how absolutely amaaaaaazing and awesome you are, will you be treated just the same. The saying ‘People will treat you the way you let them treat you’ is apt for this. And it’s true. So become aware of your worth, believe it and don’t put up with anything that is any less than this. Definitely, don’t settle for second best!

And as Cheryl Cole would say and now MichelleMovesMountains, ‘You are, oh, so very worth it!’ 🙂 BELIEVE 🙂

Stay tuned for the video I did on self worth to a group of 15 year old girls last week, which will be coming very soon 🙂