Less effort = More attention


Now this blog is a little more personal than the others I have written but the message is still worth receiving.  I write this blog particularly for my fellow sisters out there although you boys may benefit from reading this too.  I hope you enjoy 🙂

Those who have known me longer than 10 minutes will have seen me grow (in more ways than one!) develop and mature from a gangly, giraffe teen to a preened, fish pouting princess (!) to the more current natural, sea turtle resembling cutie pie that I am now!    And I have learnt a lot of things on this journey of transformation.  Namely that being comfortable in your skin is without doubt the sexiest thing you can do for yourself.  And by this I mean believing that you are beautiful in your oldest pair of jim jams with not a scrap of make up on your face and your hair scraped back from your face.  And believing it enough to go to the shop and buy a pint of milk.  And then speaking to the fit neighbour from number 59 about what beautiful weather it is today.  And when I say not a scrap of make up, I mean none.  Not even lip gloss!  Could you do it?!?! And more importantly, do you believe that you are beautiful?

The reason I say all this is because it has taken me to the ripe old age (!!!) of 26 to be comfortable in my own skin.  And it took me till yesterday, when dressed in my tracksuit and with minimal makeup and given a whole heap of attention to realise that less is indeed more.  I used to be the Croydon girl who believed she had to look like a Page 3 model in order to be considered beautiful in any kind of capacity.  Therefore I would wear the tightest, most revealing clothes I could find with hair extensions (which, I am telling you something for nothing, caused considerable pain to my head), fake nails and fake tan and I caked on the make up to an inch of my life.  And to top it all off, in every photo (and I mean EVERY photo) I would pull a now cringeworthy fish/duck pout as I believed that was what men found sexy (and once again those who have known me for longer than 10 minutes will have been privileged to view these very such photos! Those who have known me for less than 10 minutes, count yourself lucky you never will! )  Oh how deluded I was.  How very deluded!

Now, although at the time I would have gotten a considerable amount of attention for all the effort I had put in, which in a sense goes against my title, the attention I was receiving was not the attention a young girl ought to want to receive.  It was more reflex attention.  Like a knee jerk reaction to someone hitting you hard on your leg.  Instantaneous and brief.  And all based on a fantasy or an illusion.  Yet I thought this was what men wanted.  And even worse, I used this attention to boost my esteem.  The amount of boyfriends I had who got frustrated by my Jordanesque photo poses or my lack of clothing on a night out is one too many!  And the reason I did all this was in order to look and BE perfect.  If only I had realised at the time that I already was.

Now I write this with no judgement for girls who choose to dress  or carry themselves in this way.  This story is based on me and my journey of self discovery.  Each to their own and every one is entitled to their own style and dress sense.  Yet, the message I wish to convey is simple.  It is in the act of not trying and instead just being that we end up achieving.  And this relates to everything.  When trying to problem solve, you often find yourself coming up with the solution when giving yourself a break and clearing your mind.  Hence just BEING.  When sitting an exam, you are told to just do your BEST.  Hence just BEING.  When going for a job interview or audition, the best advice you could be given is to not try too hard and instead just BE yourself in order to succeed.  When dating or starting a new relationship, you are advised to BE natural and again, not try too hard.  And you even find that those boys or girls who make less effort in relationships get a hell of a lot more attention (not that I condone game playing in any way, shape or form! ;)). Therefore, the consensus is that by BEING yourself, you will get far.  Because at the end of the day, you can never be anyone but yourself.  And no one can be better at playing you, than you.  So you may as well play you the best you can 😉

The moral to this story is this.  When you were created and put on this Earth, you were perfect.  You were just how you were supposed to BEBeautiful inside and out.  BEautiful JUST by BEing You.  And you don’t need a fake tan, a six-pack or a nose job to be perfect.  BEcause YOU already are. JUST by BEing YOU.  If you were supposed to have a smaller nose, bigger breasts, a six-pack or teeth as white as mountains, then you would have.  It’s all about LOVING what IS.  And you IS B..E…AUTIFUL.  Just by BEing YOU 😉

Stay Happy.

Be Younique.

Love Life & You.Just Be

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

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4 responses to “Less effort = More attention

  1. Thanks for sharing Michelle.. I see a difference via your facebook profile pictures.. I think I’ve been realising the same thing this summer.. I went camping in England in the rain & then I went to Morocco and in both places I was without constant hot showers and hair dryer/ straighteners etc.. I realised my hair looked better with less effort.. and I enjoyed feeling more free. So yes, be yourself and I’ll try and be myself!

  2. VERY TRUE!! I like this a lot, and I think I am learning to be happy in my own skin more and more everyday! Its not about what anyone else thinks of you but how you feel about yourself! Another inspirational piece Mich! xxx

  3. I so agree what you are saying. You can only be happy in your own skin if you are happy inside your heart. Pouting lips don’t do anything for anyone least on the photos you look at in 2 years time. We all have to find our own path along the way, sometimes it takes a few months, sometimes years. Well done Michelle. xxx

  4. Wow Michelle, seems like a completely different you!!! Definitely agree with what you’re saying but i have to admit, it is SOOOOOOO hard!! Plus, it doesn’t help when you go out without any make-up and people keep coming up to you and asking if you’re ‘un-well’ or that ‘you look tired’!!! 😦

    I would love to be able to just walk out of the house all naturale, but, am a BIG chicken i’m afraid!!!

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